I always believed that to love others perfectly, you had to love yourself first. For how can you love others, if you cannot even love yourself? Sometimes, it's really hard to love yourself. A secret. Sometimes, I even hate me.
Just this morning, I prayed really hard for someone. My prayers were instantly answered. Instantly.
He was always teaching me something about love. Reminding me His love for us was always the greatest.
Reminded of something I came across recently. There's no such thing as conditional love. Which is what we need to learn.
It was either unconditional love or no love at all. That's what true love is.
Totally had awesome fun yesterday with Da, Sw, and Bo at Marina Barrage. Played Seven-Level-Pig, Aideedai (after such a long time too!), and doing forfeits. Everything was just so funny. Best part was when the water sprinklers suddenly turned on around 00.15! and we were just picnicing somewhere in the middle of the green field. Haha. How lucky we weren't sitting ON one of the sprinklers.
On to more serious stuff. Saw Fl's blog post. I was touched by it. Totally inspired and motivated me to finally do something about my dysfunctional relationships with my parents. Something I always had known I had to do something about, but just didn't. To cherish and treasure them now before it's too late.
Me now? I'm just living by His Word. To honor my parents. It's a small step, but it's a start. And I'm believing with faith that one day my family, relatives, everyone I care and love so much will be saved.
Happy 51th Birthday, Mum. Love u.
=)
Posted on 12/27/2009 12:39:00 AM
by kennn
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave You were what I wanted I gave what I gave I'm not sorry I met you I'm not sorry it's over I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
But to each one of us was the grace given according to the measure of the gift of Christ. Ephesians 4:7
This year's Christmas.
It's not like any other. Not like the previous Christmases I had so far. Where it was just another seemingly ordinary day, with no meaning, no significance. Where it passed me by without me realizing it.
This year, I'm celebrating more than Christmas. I'm celebrating and commemorating the day our Lord was born.
Posted on 12/20/2009 09:03:00 PM
by kennn
Finally finished the entire four seasons of Prison Break.
Gosh. The ending. So sad. And this amazing sad song fits it perfectly like a jigsaw piece.
Posted on 12/20/2009 06:52:00 PM
by kennn
Ohhh, oooh, yeah
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye Tell me baby, do you recognise me? Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it Now I know what a fool I've been But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice My God I thought you were someone to rely on Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart A man undercover but you tore me apart Ohh now I've found a real love, you'll never fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart A man undercover but you tore me apart (maybe next year) I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
Posted on 12/18/2009 10:03:00 AM
by kennn
Stockholm kind of bores me. Though I probably wouldn't be happier anywhere else. For all the water in Seine, and all neon signs in Time Square or all ecstasy of Berlin wouldn't make me appreciate mondays. But this particular monday... This weekend, at a party, I met a wonderful person. I can't stop thinking about her. I met her today as well. Her presence is so paralyzing. I just wanted to hide. But I was discovered. She approached me and said: "Hello?" "Hey!" "I had fun this weekend." "Yeah!" "Too bad you had to leave so early." "I didn't really know anybody." "Maybe you want to hang out this weekend?" "Yeah! Sure!" "I call you." "Sure!"
Posted on 12/18/2009 12:45:00 AM
by kennn
Matthew 18:3 :"and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.
Posted on 12/17/2009 01:45:00 AM
by kennn
Matthew 18.
<3.
Posted on 12/16/2009 02:41:00 AM
by kennn
And in the end, yb hasnt change one bit. Im so disappointed.
Really felt like cussing in response just this moment ago. But i think ive got the grace and capacity right now not to. Thank God.
Posted on 12/16/2009 02:21:00 AM
by kennn
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I need to instill this in my mind, carve it upon my brain.
God, make me remember this always.
Posted on 12/15/2009 10:01:00 AM
by kennn
Skipping lecture today. Headache, flu and sore throat just got worse.
I'm glad I went to PM yesterday (tho only for session 1.), when I was already contemplating whether to go home and rest for the day even during morning lecture.
(Sometimes I wonder whether it's a blessing or a curse to be this curious.) I've so many questions about everything! It's like being a newborn babe again. Haha. Starting from scratch.
I can't wait for BS to start.
Posted on 12/13/2009 10:42:00 PM
by kennn
But if heaven never were promised to me, even God's promise to live eternally. It's been worth just having the Lord in my life, living in a world of darkness, He brought me the light.
Amen.
Posted on 12/11/2009 12:54:00 PM
by kennn
Oh Valencia With your blood still warm on the ground Valencia And I swear to the stars I'll burn this whole city down
All I heard was a shout Of your brother calling me out And you ran like a fool to my side
Well the shot, it hit hard And your frame went limp in my arms And an oath of love was your dying cry
So wait for the stone on your window, your window Wait by the car and we'll, go we'll go
Posted on 12/11/2009 03:50:00 AM
by kennn
God, I actually like how the Russian langauge sounds. Ravishing.
Matthew 9:29: Then He touched their eyes, saying," According to your faith let it be to you."
And it reminded me what Ja preached a few days back. "The likelihood of your lifelong dream coming true corresponds directly to the strength of your faith."
For all things are possible, if we have the faith to just believe. It's something all of us already have in us. All of us have faith, the capacity to believe. It's the direction we place it in that matters. And the amount of faith.
Talked with Da on the way home. The camp made us learn so much more about ourselves. Our weaknesses, our strengths. And with His grace, what we needed to change within ourselves.
Tears just flowed freely today. So touched by Him. Renewed faith. Stronger than ever.
O Father, grant us the courage and the wisdom to change. Allow us to raise our performance, that we may close the gap. For we believe in You and our dreams with undying faith. O Father, what did books mean?
Before the earth Before all days You knew me Formed in Your image Made in Your likeness You love me
The light of Your word The truth of Your promise guides me The power of Your mercy The love of Your grace deep inside of me It's the depths of Your love Moving in the depths of me
I believe In the power of Your name I believe In the promise of faith I believe In the love of a God Jesus my Saviour I believe, I believe
Speak to this mountain To move into the ocean With Your authority given to me No matter what happens Here I am standing On the hope of Your word Promised to me
This song never fails to make me wanna cry. How beautiful.
Posted on 12/08/2009 12:53:00 AM
by kennn
...and we all need simple reminders, from time to time, to remind us that He's always there for us.
Posted on 12/05/2009 11:50:00 PM
by kennn
His mysterious ways. O Lord! Nothing short of miraculous! I stand in awe.
PSALM 26: 1-2: 1 Vindicate me, O LORD, For I have walked in my integrity. I have also trusted in the LORD; I shall not slip. 2 Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; Try my mind and my heart.
For what did we have to prove, really? To whom? To what ends? For i learned that in everything we do, we really had to prove only to Him. And Him alone. Noone but Him. God. Jesus. Holy Spirit. You.
I'm a moonbow. I'm a believer. I'm dancing on a rainbow. I'm still standing. I'm your Jack-in-the-Box. I'm living by faith. I'm a freak for design. I'm singing off-tune. I'm finding beauty in hidden places. I'm dancing in the rain. I'm unfinished on a lot of things. I'm loving Him. I'm thankful. I'm always hungry. I'm using Photoshop. I'm alive. I'm crazy. I'm His. I'm enjoying the solitude of the night. I'm always dropping things. I'm walking in the light. I'm taking a slow walk. I'm a romanticist. I'm in the clouds. I'm full of dreams. I'm never giving up. I'm leaving on a jet plane. I'm clumsy. I'm who I am. I'm always buried in a book. I'm starting something. I'm here. I'm happy. I'm random. I'm high on air. I'm the only one. I'm a bagful of laughter. I'm a S.E.M.B.R. I'm black & white. I'm taking a photo. I'm chilling out. I'm awake till 3am. I'm writing a poem. I'm working on it.