The only exception.

Some concept works after my lappy crashed, wiping all my previous works for term 3.
Doing way better than I did before it crashed.

God is good all the time.
And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown.
For my reward is bringing glory to You, Lord.

The lyrics. What I wanted to say.

After so much thinking, I came to only one conclusion for myself:
No matter what happens in the future, I just want you to be happy.
I think I could be happy if I only see you smile and laugh.

Shocking news.
Right now, I do not know what to think.

Let my heart belong to You alone.

The Aurora from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

Auroras.

The Mountain from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

Ever seen how a father ruffles his hand through his son's hair lovingly in a playful way? It's a kind of way the father says well done, or when the father's pleased with his son.
I 'saw' the same thing happened today during service when Pastor Kong was preaching halfway. Not really saw, not really felt, hard to explain, but I knew it was God. His hand ruffling through Pastor Kong's hair, kinda patting his head, except His hand was ENORMOUS. Grinning to myself sillily in service. It was then I realised I wanted God to do the same to me. To be proud of me and say well done. Just wanna make Him proud and bring glory to Him, like I did on friday. I know I can, with Him by my side.

Roughly two more months to graduation.

Recently being reminded of my dreams and what I was always working so hard for.
God told me of the first step I had to take if I wanted to reach my ultimate dream of setting up orphanages in the future. I was reminded that she helped out at old folk's homes and He told me I could ask her how she went about doing it. Which is what I did today, when she sat beside me during service. Coincidence? Neh, more like Godly plan! lol. Hmmm. All I need is to take the first step with You, Lord.

Talked to Herlena today with my bro. (Not sure if I spelled her name correctly) Apparently, she's been to Sweden before to try to catch the auroras! But she didn't saw any for those four days. Lol. Anyways, I didn't know one could travel to watch auroras from sweden. Now we know. We asked her so much stuffs about her travels there, and now we decided to save money and travel there. Auroras. Northern lights. One of God's most beautiful creation. To catch them in person once in my lifetime. Definitely top of my to do list. One day if we decide to go, we have to pray hard for it to appear if not it'll be a wasted trip LOL.

Dreams.
In You I dream.
In You I hope.

11.56pm and at this moment right now, I really feel like graduation's too far away. I'm tired but I can't sleep.

I don't have an answer for the question You asked me.
I know one day I will have.
But now, I'm not sure.
In time, I will know.

Omigosh milk pudding dessert at some jap restaurant i forgot the name.

Best thing evaaaaa! (:

Every man needs to know his own name.

Who can give a man this, his own name?
God alone.
For no one but God sees what the man is.
The history of a man's relationship with God is the story of how God calls him out, takes him on a journey and gives him his true name. Not so the story of how God sits on His throne waiting to whack a man broadside when he steps out of line.
We were created for adventure, battle, and beauty, He created us for a unique place in His story and He is committed to bringing us back to the original design.

"Whatever is denied cannot be healed."
Most men deny their wound- deny that it happened, deny that it hurts, certainly deny that it's shaping the way they live today.
Therefore, God's initiation of a man is a course that is odd and even cruel.

He will wound us in the very place where we have been wounded.

I'm not gonna be a fool.
I'm not someone you can treat like dirt.
If you want my respect, respect me first.

What I would give to hear Kim Walker worship.

God is good all the time!
Hallelujah!

Hebrews 11:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken away so that he did not see death, "and was not found, because God had taken him", for before he was taken he had this testimony, that he pleased God. But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith. By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. and he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builders and maker is God. By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised. Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born as many as the stars of the sky in multitude- innumerable as the sand which is by the seashore. These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. and truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, of whom it was said," In Isaac your seed shall be called," concluding that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead, from which he also received him in a figurative sense. By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come. By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of the son of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff. By faith, Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the departure of the children of Israel, and gave instructions concerning his bones. By faith, Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward. By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured as seeing Him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, lest he who destroyed the firstborn should touch them. By faith they passed through the Red Sea as by dry land, whereas the Egyptians, attempting to do so, were drowned. By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days. By faith the harlot Rahab did not perish with those who did not believe, when she had received the spies with peace. And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets; who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again. Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented- of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise. God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

Forgive me, Father. For when the storms rage on in my heart, for when the doubts arise when I do not see, for when the turmoils start to boil, You alone can calm all these and comfort me. You alone know my heart.

I asked, for the questions that I had, and You showed me the dark, stormy clouds in the sky today at that time. You told me to look closer, more carefully. I saw the golden edges in between those clouds. These were the silver or should I say golden, linings that is always there, beyond all the troubles and pain. You reminded me that no matter what really happens, if I trusted You with all my heart, in the end, the sun would shine through. Your peace filled me.

I am truly beginning to understand the full meaning of 'walking by faith, and not by sight'. I'm only human, a wretched one at that, one that will sometimes feel down, one that will sometimes feel low, and there will be many things I do not know. You told me Your ways will always be higher than mine, and for all that I do not know, all I had to do was just one single thing. To trust You. And I am glad. I am Your son, and Your grace found me just as I am. Lord, I am nothing without You. Nothing, Father.

I am reminded of how meaningful this blog is up till today. It was created to document everything when I first started walking with You. Now, it records every single little thing of my life with You. I know that years down the road, I will read back, of all the highs and lows, all the falls that I took, all the happy things You blessed me with. And I know that I will smile, with You looking at me, glad that in the end, I made the decision today to trust You.

And he walked. He fell, but His hands were always there to pull him up. He's still walking.
This is his story.

There's nothing more important than God, family and friends.

All i wanted to do, on the way home, was weep.

I needed to see You.

So nice weather to sleep in! ;O

Its always the choices that defines a man.

"Life is full of different paths to take. There is a fork in the road in front of you. On one trail, it's a common road, one that almost everyone walks on. It seems safe and wide. It looks like it would be a fun and easy one to walk on, which looks like it would lead you to your right destination. But is it really? On the second one, it's one that you would walk with someone extraordinary. It's one that many others would be called upon to walk on. However, it seems that this path would be full of windy paths to take. It looks like it leads up and down mountains, fraught with dangers and perilous cliffs. Would you still take this path, knowing that it will not be a bed of roses like the other one?

If you choose the second path, lets walk on. You will sooner or later come to yet another fork on this path. This third road is the narrowest among all roads you will ever come across. On the left and right side, it's a deep deep drop into an abyss, where you cannot even see the bottom. This is a path that one) few would be chosen to walk on it. two) few would choose to walk on it. The few that do experience a calling that is special. They would experience things no others ever would. They would do things that others would never even dream of. Each time they fall off the sides, mysterious invisible hands would lift them up, giving them strength to continue walking on. That special pair of hands belongs to no other than God. This path is the path of life. The only one that is the right one, where the people who walk on it give their lives, hearts and souls to the one and only Jesus Christ.

How many would give their current life up so that they can join Him for eternity? The end of the path will be an unknown, where it leads we shall never know except God.
The choice then is this, would you still put all your faith in God, and knowing how hard the path is, still choose to walk it with Him?
If He chooses you to walk that path, would you trust Him wholeheartedly, and knowing the end would definitely be the best end He has for you, no matter whatever happens throughout the walk?"

You're a great God.
You showed me hope for my family when there was none.
The devil won't stop me.
His attempts won't stop me from reconciling back with my dad.

Romans 15:13:
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

A beautiful voice is one that worships God wholeheartedly.
A beautiful face is one that yearns to see God face to face.
A beautiful heart is one that chases after God's own.

Oh Lord, You're beautiful.
Your face is all I seek.
And when Your eyes are on this child.
Your grace abounds to me.

Psalm 103:1:
Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

Psalm 118:17:
I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.


Lately, God kept telling me to follow my heart.
"Follow your heart."
Follow my heart. Not my mind.

My mind tells me to think and think and yet over-think my designs. In the end, nothing productive gets done. My heart tells me otherwise. It leads me to just do it and flow creatively.

My mind reminds me of all the bad points and flaws of my father. I realised that I couldn't forgive him up till today, an hour ago. My heart tells me that deep down, I still love him alot and he was once the best father ever.

That's the problem with following your mind. Too much logical reasoning and thinking creates doubts. It's the reason why most people do not believe in God. The logic that they cannot see something in front of them automatically means it does not exist. On the contrary, we His children, know in our hearts, that He exists. And what an awesome God we serve! The mind is something that can be brain-washed, or controlled by the events of this world. The heart, on the other hand, cannot be influenced from the outside fallen world. Only His love can change a heart that's deceitful and sinful from the start.

Love God with all Your heart. If my heart belongs to Jesus, all the more I should follow it, for God leads it. Follow your unique path, guided by the Holy Spirit, do amazing things for God. Indeed, quitting the accounting course for my design course is one good example. Money (logic/mind) vs passion (heart). I have faith in God that I can one day do more for him and earn and accomplish more than I ever can in accounting, as this path is set by Him. Never have I forgotten my orphanage dream. I am where I am, where God wants me to be, right here, right now.

"Sometimes the strongest people in the morning, are the people who cry themselves to sleep at night."
Nope.
The strongest people are those who cry in front of God and out to Him.

Psalm 56:8:
You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?

Its time to renew my relationship with my father.

Gosh..teh peng ping pang pong works wonders!

Ever my first love.

Drawing closer and closer to You once more.