Note to future self:
always give your parents a call whenever u can no matter how busy u are in the future.
I didnt know how much it mattered to them until i heard her voice over the phone in the morning.
Happy birthday mum.
So tired i took the train in the wrong direction home.
So many things to do.
Work.
Lots of birthday stuffs.
Practice my anatomy and painting.
Practice guitar.
Busy busy busy.
Im as busy as a bee.
Because all along, it was more than just getting a job. It was always more than that. It meant like dreams could come true if you worked hard enough. It meant that you could do something you love, something you were very good at and make a living out of it. Because this feels right. Like I was meant to do this all along. And even though its a very small step, its a single step in the right direction. Maybe this was why I took it that hard. Felt like decades to me. Maybe this was my first taste of having my dreams crushed. Enough of that, right now this years christmas ending in 2 minutes and this year's ending in 6 days' time. I had enough of this year. The cycles I went through. The insane roller coaster rides. The quagmire I was always stuck in. All this stupid friendzone shit and crap. Screw legalism. Screw the way that things are meant to be done. To heck with what other people think. And the way that they think you should do something this way or that way. It's a brand new start for a new year and I'm moving on. Work hard, play equally hard. Time to fulfil more dreams and leave the past behind. Oh, by the way God, things could never return to the way it was. Some things that were done can't be undone. Happy birthday, Jesus and to my lil' brother. Loves of my life. She's right anyway. Someone who is true and an angel at heart. I'll be waiting.
Merry Christmas.
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